Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Why Do Presidential Candidates Dress So Badly

Whether we want it to or not, clothing always reflects the psychology of whoever’s wearing it—which is why, my fellow Americans, we should be deeply concerned by the wardrobes of our 2016 presidential candidates. Whereas dapper pols like JFK once wore Wayfarers and skinny ties, today’s White House wannabes are now so exhaustively focus-grouped (and are so terrified of making any fashion mistake) that they’ve drained themselves of sartorial charisma.

This election’s early favorites are a yacht-load of honkies who all default to boxy charcoal gray suits, starchy white shirts, and shiny silk neckties (nearly always red, regardless of party affiliation). It’s a classic high-contrast Leadership color palette I like to call “Fascist Contemporary.” For their daytime-casual look, the candidates remove their jackets and unconvincingly roll up their sleeves for a “changing my own tires for the good of America” appearance. Just as murky, inscrutable, inoffensive content is their default choice when it comes to rhetoric, their campaign uniforms seem expressly chosen to obscure their humanity.

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